Hiiiiiiii! I lied to you last time. It’s been a year. Do I even remember how to bake?

Well, I’ll tell you right now…the answer is no! I have a friend, Lindy, who is not eating dairy right now. Fall is in the air (literally, with all my fall candles from Bath & Body Works #notsponsored #pleasesponsorme), so I thought it would be a good idea to make some vegan pumpkin bread! That recipe was not by Martha and it failed, miserably. But this blog is not about that bread, it’s about the dairy-free cookies I tried the next day:

This recipe is in her A New Way to Bake cookbook. This “new way” excludes flour and dairy. This recipe is not on her website. Is this a sign of things to come?

OK I’m ready, I think. It looks easy. I’ve made thumbprints once or twice before and they worked out great.

Step 1: Gather ingredients: Cashew butter, sugar, egg, baking soda, salt, jam

Wow, cashew butter is NOT CHEAP. It was like $14 for a jar. I decided instead to go over to the bulk section where they had a grind-your-own peanut and cashew butter section. I got enough for this recipe and it was about half the cost of the jar.

Step 2: Stir together cashew butter, sugar, egg

Easy enough.

Step 3: Add baking soda and salt

Uh huh.

Step 4: Scoop 2 teaspoons of dough and roll into balls

Here’s where it got tricky. And by tricky, I mean sticky. Literally. But also, measuring “2 teaspoons” is not easy, so I tried a heaping teaspoon and hoped for the best.

Step 5: Flatten balls into disks about 1/4 inch thick

Sticky. Should I have wet my hands or a cup to flatten them? Yes. Did Martha tell me to do that? No. There’s lots of white space on the recipe page, Martha. There’s room for that instruction!

Step 6: Bake cookies until golden and set around the edges, then use a 1/4 teaspoon to create a well in the center of each cookie

Not so much golden, but they were set and starting to flatten.

Okay, it worked, I guess. Check out the measuring spoon shadow on the cookie to its right. YOU’RE NEXT, BUDDY.

Step 7: Return to oven and bake until cookies are lightly golden, then transfer to wire racks.

Some of these really flattened out. They do not look anything like thumbprints. Meh.

“It smells like popcorn in here,” they said. What in the hell?

Step 8: Fill with 1/4 teaspoon jam

“Fill,” that’s cute. How about “top” or “dollop” instead?

They seemed…tough. I decided to try one without jam.

Yeah, they were crunchy. Not a great way to try to start up the blog again.

Yields: About 36
I got: 41

Start time: 2:33
End time: 3:35 (1 hour, 2 minutes)
Martha’s estimated time: N/A – this book is not winning points

What did I learn?

• I remember some of the techniques I learned on the way, but clearly not everything

What do I need to learn? 

• Why did they smell/taste like popcorn? Was it the grind-your-own cashews? Maybe I should have splurged on the jar of proper cashew butter.
• Why did they flatten out so much?
• Why were they so crunchy?

Man, this was a tough one. I’m not totally discouraged, though. The weather is getting cooler and I’m getting excited to bake more.

Friends and strangers (loyal followers), see you soon. Sponsors, please email me!