You might have thought that I’d be one-and-done like last year when I returned and only blogged once. Well, baby don’t believe what you hear. The grande dame still holds center court.

OK, maybe that was a Karen Huger quote, but it applies to this situation and the fact that I’ve been trying to catch up on the Real Housewives of Potomac which is amazing this season!

Anyway, remember when I jokingly asked someone to buy me the Martha Stewart Cookies book?

Shoutout to my friend Matt who just bought his way into this blog post! #spon

We decided to make these:

Oh, maybe I didn’t mention that this book was published in 2008 and there is no online version of this recipe. MARTHA YOU ARE MAKING MY LIFE HARDER.

Step 1: Gather ingredients for cookies: Flour, eggs, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, vanilla, salt, cocoa powder, buttermilk, butter.

Back up to step 0.5: blow up the cocoa powder all over you. 

So classy. 

Step 2: Have your ‘Friend/Assistant’ whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Step 3: Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy.

Step 4: Add vanilla and eggs. 

OK this is kinda boring. New storyline:

Step 5: Add buttermilk.

And then, in a shocking plot twist…

*gag* excuse me for a second. *gag*

I convinced myself that after we add the dry ingredients, this will all look normal again, so…

Step 6: Add dry ingredients.

OK OK that got much better.

Step 7: Scoop em on to a sheet.

They were supposed to be 2 inches apart. After starting my prepared speech about not going upstairs to get my ruler, Matt interrupted me to brag about his beta iOS 12.

Oh, it actually is helpful. THANKS, MATT.

Step 8: Bake for 8 minutes, rotating half way through. 

We (Matt’s fault) ran into a bit of an issue with some of them.

Annnd on the last batch…

I think tomorrow I might just have a little amnesia about those.

Step 9: Get ingredients ready for the healthy filling: peanut butter, butter, powdered sugar. 

Step 10: Beat until smooth. 

Ohhhh yeah.

Step 10.5: Take a short nap because you’re sick of all the drama. 

Step 11: Make whoopie.

C’mon people.

Yields: 36
I got: 31

I only had enough filling to make 31, but I ended up with enough cookies to make 37 (if you count those duds). What am I supposed to do with this bag of junk?

Start time: 7:10
End time: 8:50 (1 hour, 40 minutes)
Martha’s estimated time: THIS COOKBOOK DOESN’T HAVE AN ESTIMATED TIME

What did I learn? 

• I need to refrigerate the dough/batter between batches.
• Bring coffee when you eat these. They are quite sticky!

What do I need to learn?

• Why did my filling only make 31?
• What’s going to happen to Karen and her tax situation?
• I’m supposed to go over to Matt’s house for a BBQ, but is it worth it?

I’d give these a 6 out of 10. They seemed pretty popular though. If you ate them, what did you think? Please leave a comment!

It would be very shady of me to edit out the bad stuff, so here you go:

Word on the street is: Martha is still word on the street. I’ll do what I’m told.

See you next time!