Hey all you cool cats and kittens, it’s me, Uncle Nate. I’m coming at you live from Quarantine to bring you a cookie-tini! It’s desperate times, people.

I’m not sure if you follow Sandra Lee, but if not, you’re missing a true gem. Recently, she posted a video of the cocktail version of her favorite cookie on earth: Circus Animal Cookies.

How. Could. I. Not.

Shout out to my friend Genoa who basically forced us to make these. This is a journey you will not regret.

Disclaimer: We quadrupled the recipe because Aunt Sandy’s only made one drink. 

Step 1: Gather ingredients: Vodka, marshmallow fluff, Cool Whip, nonpareils, cream soda, maraschino cherries (for the juice), vanilla, Strawberry Quik, heavy whipping cream, cream of coconut, Circus Animal Cookies (for inspo and garnish)

Are you in a sugar coma yet? WAKE UP.

Step 2: Pour in 1 cup vodka

Those animals are fine, they’ve just had a lot to drink.

Step 3: Pour in 1 cup cream soda

So far, you could just drink this and not be mad.

Step 4: Pour in 1 cup of “cherry juice”

I know what you just said out loud. “Nate, there are sixty-four cherries in that jar. How are you gonna get that juice out without spillin’ all the cherries?”

I’ve got a plan.

Yes, that is, appropriately, the lid to a cocktail shaker.

Pour! The! Juice!

Surprisingly, there was only a little carnage spillage.

Step 5: Pour in…1/2 cup heavy cream

Here’s where it got dicey, folks. I’ve never had a white russian because I am afraid of mixing dairy and liquor…

…and this is why. But I am trusting multi-Emmy award winner Aunt Sandy and will power through this.

Step 6: Pour in 1/2 cup Cream of Coconut

I’ve never heard of this product before, but I will tell you that it looks…well…

Step 7: Pour in 4 teaspoons vanilla extract

I am pretty sure that’s 4 times more vanilla than I’ve put in a whole batch of cookies, but she says it gives it SMOOTHNESS.

THIS IS THE SCARIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN POSING AS A DRINK. But, it’s day 43 of quarantine and I can do anything.

Step 8: Roll the rim of the glass in marshmallow fluff

You missed me stirring the drink, which is unfortunate, but now it looks “right.”

Step 9: Roll the marshmallow’d ring in nonpareils (a.k.a. “candy beads”)

This wasn’t actually the stickiest part of the recipe.

Step 10: Add ice and POUR!

You can use any cup or glass. We chose Disney Cruise Line cups because they’re difficult to get and not everybody has that. But also because Dustin and I had to cancel our trip to Disney World scheduled for next week.

Step 11: Top with Cool Whip

Don’t you dare make your own whipped cream. Cool Whip is legit.

Step 12: Garnish with the queen Mother Circus Animal Cookie

OK BYE!

Oh, you want to know how the drink was? Was it great? Well…I wouldn’t say “great.” It tasted like I was drinking straight vanilla extract. I think Aunt Sandy went a little heavy on the vanilla. I added more Quik and it…cut all that smoothness? I don’t know, it was better. It was VERY sweet.

Link to original recipe 

Do I regret it? Of course not! Will I make it again? We’ll see how long this quarantine lasts.

It was nice to see you! Maybe I’ll post again soon.