Recipe 74: Jam-Filled Cream Cheese Cookies

Last week I thought, “Oh, look, it’s all cold and wintery outside. Time to make some more Christmas cookies!”

jamfilled

Little did I know these would KILL my Christmas spirit. Ugh. 

See, it really was nice and wintery outside.
IMG_6549

Step 1: Gather ingredients: Flour, butter, jam, salt, egg yolk, cream cheese, sugar.
IMG_6551

That cream cheese looks gross because I had to soften it by stirring it up.

Step 2: Watch out for gargoyles. 
IMG_6552

Step 3: Beat cream cheese, butter, and sugar until light and fluffy. 
IMG_6555

Not bad so far.

Step 4: Add flour and salt. 
IMG_6556

Okay.

Step 5: Flatten into 3 disks and roll to 1/8-inch thickness between sheets of parchment. 
IMG_6559

This picture might be too close-up for you to see my anger. My dumb rolling pin only has 1/4-inch or 1/16-inch discs.

IMG_6563

The whole reason I bought that pin is because I suck at estimating dough thickness and end up with part of it too thin and part too thick.

Now I have to take out the normal pin and guess. This is so stupid.
IMG_6565

Step 6: Refrigerate for 20 mins, then cut with a star or circle cutter. 
IMG_6566

4. I got 4 out of one disk. Lovely.

Step 7: Spoon 1/2 teaspoon jam into center of each and pinch corners. 
IMG_6569

Just wait.

Step 8: Brush with egg wash. 
IMG_6572

Here comes my stupid silicone brush again. WHY WOULD ANYONE INVENT THIS? Would you like globs of egg yolk? Make sure to use this silicone brush!

I really should start making videos. I have a dream of being a host on QVC and I’d love to sell you this crappy product.

Step 9: Dust with sanding sugar, then bake. 
IMG_6574

Step 10: Re-roll scraps. 
IMG_6575

Scrap=crap. I’m defeated.

This picture is blown out, so you can’t see, but the last batch of damn cookies opened. SO MUCH FOR ALL THAT PINCHING. I wanted to just throw them on the floor.

IMG_6577

Link to original recipe

Yields: 48
I got: I have no idea. But based on the picture of the crap pile below, I’m guessing 21.

Start time: 3:50
End time: 6:05 (2 hours, 15 mins)
Martha’s estimated time: 2 hours, 15 mins (wow)

What did I learn? 

  • My rolling pin is pointless. I knew that.
  • Silicone brushes suck. I knew that. (Santa!)
  • Crap cookies can only temporarily crush the Christmas spirit. It’s back.

What do I need to learn? 

  • How do you know when you’ve reached 1/4-inch thickness?
  • Why wouldn’t the pinches stay pinched?

Here’s my grand pile of crap. They were sent to the island of misfits.

IMG_6578

 

Ugh, until next time. Bye.

3 responses to “Recipe 74: Jam-Filled Cream Cheese Cookies

  1. Leann

    Some of them turned out pretty nice looking! Have you ever made thumbprint cookies with jam in them?

  2. Hey friend, every baker has bombs! Remember, even the bombs taste as good as the perfect ones. Don’t be so hard on yourself. This is a great post: funny, informative, with great photos. It is frustrating when pinched sides don’t stick together. Maybe the dough got too warm? Maybe you used too much egg wash? Maybe the jam got mixed in with the egg wash? It’s great that you follow Martha Stewart. I think she is one of the best out there for recipes and instructions. I go to her often. Cheers!

  3. they dont look bad at all! weird how the last batch opened up. maybe the dough was too warm? since the first batch was still chilled from the fridge?

    can’t wait to see more christmas goodies!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: