Last week I thought, “Oh, look, it’s all cold and wintery outside. Time to make some more Christmas cookies!”
Little did I know these would KILL my Christmas spirit. Ugh.
That cream cheese looks gross because I had to soften it by stirring it up.
Not bad so far.
This picture might be too close-up for you to see my anger. My dumb rolling pin only has 1/4-inch or 1/16-inch discs.
The whole reason I bought that pin is because I suck at estimating dough thickness and end up with part of it too thin and part too thick.
4. I got 4 out of one disk. Lovely.
Here comes my stupid silicone brush again. WHY WOULD ANYONE INVENT THIS? Would you like globs of egg yolk? Make sure to use this silicone brush!
I really should start making videos. I have a dream of being a host on QVC and I’d love to sell you this crappy product.
Scrap=crap. I’m defeated.
This picture is blown out, so you can’t see, but the last batch of damn cookies opened. SO MUCH FOR ALL THAT PINCHING. I wanted to just throw them on the floor.
I got: I have no idea. But based on the picture of the crap pile below, I’m guessing 21.
Start time: 3:50
End time: 6:05 (2 hours, 15 mins)
Martha’s estimated time: 2 hours, 15 mins (wow)
What did I learn?
My rolling pin is pointless. I knew that. Silicone brushes suck. I knew that. (Santa!)
- Crap cookies can only temporarily crush the Christmas spirit. It’s back.
What do I need to learn?
- How do you know when you’ve reached 1/4-inch thickness?
- Why wouldn’t the pinches stay pinched?
Here’s my grand pile of crap. They were sent to the island of misfits.
Ugh, until next time. Bye.