I wanted to bake something kind of easy this week, so I chose these.
Boy, are you in for a treat.
These have just four ingredients. 4. This was going to be so quick and easy.
Step 1: Gather ingredients: coconut, sugar, condensed milk, evaporated milk.
Before you get all preachy and say, “That’s too much sugar. Are you trying to give me diabetes?!” let me say this: the coconut is unsweetened.
Step 2: Mix all ingredients in a saucepan and cook on medium-low for 30 minutes until thickened.
5 minutes elapsed
Looks the same.
10 minutes elapsed
Does that look any thicker?
My sunburned nose was not impressed.
15 minutes elapsed
Nothing is happening.
20 minutes elapsed
I’m getting tired.
25 minutes elapsed
I don’t think anything is happening.
Now my kitchen smells like warm milk. This is how I feel about that.
30 minutes elapsed
I guess this looks thicker?
Step 3: Coat a rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray.
Step 4: Pour mixture onto a prepared sheet.
Is this porridge, or coconut bars?
Step 5: With an offset spatula, spread 1/2 inch thick and shape into a 12-by-13 rectangle.
Um, this is not going to shape into anything.
Maybe they smell better than before.
No.
Step 6: Let cool completely, then cut into 1.5-by-2-inch rectangles.
Cut.
Psych.
Yields: 48
I got: 0
Start time: 3:45
End time: DOES IT EVEN MATTER?
Martha’s estimated time: I’m guessing 30 minutes?
What did I learn?
- Nothing.
What do I need to learn?
- WHAT HAPPENED?
You might be wondering, did it even taste good? Here’s my answer:
Ask the garbage disposal.
Nate Makes Cookies 
yummy! thanks for the recipe!
hopefully it turns out better next time 🙂
Yum!
mmm goop! Lol I wonder what happened!? Maybe the recipe was missing an ingredient? Or mislabeled the ingredients?
I’m guessing since you used unsweetened coconut you were missing out on some sort of thickening agent that the sugar in the coconut supplies. Maybe there is some cornstarch in that sweetened coconut?? Because Essentially this is a macaroon recipe, minus the eggs.
This recipe doesn’t deserve to wear the #69 badge. If Nate can’t make it, no human can!
Sorry! I hate it when things don’t work out. I googled the recipe to see what it was all about. I think what was suppose to happen was the sugar would have cooked to a nice chewy state which would have held everything. However, med low would have taken about a year to do it. If you were to try to make them again I would use higher heat.
Ouch. That looks like some nasty cream of wheat or something. +1 to increasing the heat and potentially adding some eggs or some sort of binding agent. Based on ingredients, I don’t get what would allow this to turn from sweetened fail porridge into something resembling a dessert bar.
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