We all know I hate royal icing. It sucks. Or, I suck at it. Either way, we’re enemies and this was the showdown.

I was excited for a variation on sugar cookies, since normally I turn my nose up to those! 

Okay, I’m not elitist (really I am), but I just don’t like regular sugar cookies. These actually looked good.

Step 1: Gather ingredients: Flour, flaked coconut, sugar, butter, eggs, baking powder, salt, vanilla.

Pretty simple/standard, yeah?

Step 2: Process coconut in a food processor until finely ground.

Oh, Dustin finally decided to show up for a recipe. Here are his hands.

Step 3: Whisk together flour, coconut, baking powder, and salt.

So many hands.

Step 4: Beat butter and sugar until pale and fluffy.

I’d call him Vanna, but he actually helped and didn’t just show the goods.

Step 5: Mix in eggs and vanilla.

Well, crap. Dustin’s hands turned to claws.

Step 6: Add flour mixture.

His sudden imparement made it difficult to do anything.

Step 7: Divide dough into thirds, wrap each in plastic. Refrigerate for about 1 1/2 hours.

We went shopping (surprise!) while we waited for it to chill.

Step 8: Roll out dough between 2 sheets of parchment to 1/4-inch thick.

Thank Xenu for my JosephJoseph rolling pin so I didn’t have to guess when it hit 1/4 inch!

Step 9: Refrigerate (again), then cut out shapes and bake. Do this again and again and again and again and again.

I found a few Hanukkah cutters at Crate&Barrel. Reppin for my dad and all other Jews out there. Challah atcha.

Step 10: Gather glaze ingredients: powdered sugar, and coconut milk.

I decided to sift the powdered sugar through a sieve so it wouldn’t be lumpy and hard to mix.

Step 11: Mix it.

It was too thin. Added more powdered sugar. Too thin. Added more powdered sugar. And again. Ugh.

Step 12: Dye some icing. Put into bags.

Looks good. Tastes not good.

Step 13: DECORATE WITH GLITTER AND RAINBOWS.

What a mess! This was not easy.

Dustin and Lindy made some…creative cookies.

Here is Lindy with her masterpiece of a tree.

And my favorite one was Dustin’s snowman with a little yellow spot.

Link to original recipe

Yields: 60
I got: 62

Start time: 4:45
End time: 11:05 (6 hours, 20 minutes)
Really we waited 3 hours while they chilled instead of 1.5.
Martha’s estimated time: 4 hours, 15 minutes

What did I learn? 

• I still hate royal icing. Coconut milk or regular, doesn’t matter. 
• This is a recipe to do with friends! I would have been here for 18 hours if they weren’t helping.
• Washing 21 cookie cutters is NOT fun.

What do I need to learn?

• Why did I need so much more sugar? I will admit defeat until the expert shows me how in person some day. 

Some of them turned out decent, and this time they all actually hardened!

But which holiday am I celebrating? I’m so confused.