Recipe 32: Cream Cheese Brownies

According to Martha, brownies are cookies. I’ll accept that.

The app has 4 different brownie recipes in one, so you’ll see this picture again in the future. Today I chose cream cheese brownies!

I think you can guess which one is the cream cheese brownie.

Step 1: Gather ingredients: Eggs, sugar, cocoa powder, flour, salt, semi-sweet chocolate, cream cheese, baking powder, butter.

Step 2: Chop the chocolate.


It was already 80 degrees in my house, so I ran my hands under cold water for a minute to try to avoid really melting it on the cutting board.

Step 3: Whisk together flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt.

Step 4: Over a pan of simmering water, melt chocolate and butter.

Chocolate + butter = heart attack?

Step 5: Add sugar.

Chocolate + butter + sugar = diabetes and heart attack?

That does not look good.

Step 6: Add 3 eggs.

Chocolate + butter + sugar + eggs = high cholesterol, diabetes, and heart attack?

Step 7: Add flour mixture, mix until just combined.

I don’t like all this stirring. Why can’t I use my Kitchenaid mixer?

Step 8: Whisk together cream cheese and remaining butter.

Um, how am I supposed to whisk this together? It’s stuck!

I had to remove it with my fingers a couple times.

Step 9: Add sugar, flour, and egg.


Look! Cream cheese batter!

Step 10: Alternately, spoon brownie batter and cream cheese mixture into pan.

Step 11: With the tip of a paring knife, swirl to marble.

This is where it gets interesting. Since all you have to do is tap a photo on the right and the recipe changes, I think they forgot to remove a sentence from a different one.

Check that out. Was this a test, Martha? My friend told me you were jealous of all my success that you updated the app to try to sabotage my brownies! I win this time. I’m not dumb enough to transfer the batter to another pan and ruin the marble with an offset spatula.

Step 12: Bake for 25-35 minutes until toothpick comes out with only a few moist pieces. Let cool in pan for 30 minutes, then remove from pan and let cool completely.

I checked at 25 mins. Not done. 30 mins. Not done. 35 mins. Not done. 40 mins. Not done. 45 mins. That looks good.

Step 13: Using a dampened serrated knife, cut into 16 squares.

Uh oh, apparently it’s not completely done. Oh well, they’re just really soft brownies!

Link to original recipe

Yields: 16
I got: 16

Start time: 10:40
End time: 1:30 (2 hours, 50 minutes)
Martha’s estimated time: 2 hours (I did let mine cool for extra time while I watched Big Brother.)

What did I learn?

  • Watch out for plans of sabotage from Martha. Can’t we be friends? I buy all your stuff and am promoting your recipes and app without compensation.

What do I need to learn?

  • How many more minutes would it have been until it was completely done?
  • Why was it still under baked after 10 extra minutes of baking?
  • Why is whisking so difficult?
  • Where were my cats during all of this?

Kristina ate one and told me this:
“I just took a bite and it was pretty underbaked.”
Me: Was it gross?
“No, it was still really tasty!”

Okay, they pass the test. Phew!

The only appropriate way to end this post is with a cheesy photo of me and the cream cheese brownies. Bye!

Oh, and if I fed you one of these, forget everything I said about diabetes and stuff.

8 responses to “Recipe 32: Cream Cheese Brownies

  1. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever found a brownie recipe that gave a correct baking time. Test kitchens must use convection ovens or nuclear power or magic or something…

  2. Angelique

    These brownie’s are SO AWESOME!!!

  3. Nicole

    Nice trick rinsing your hands in cold water!


    Brownie…cookie its all GOOD….I have glass bowl ENVY now, thanks for continuing this blog, I really enjoy reading your narratives Nate

  5. Shannon

    I’m sad I didn’t get to eat one, but I imagine they were super super delicious. I really do think Martha is out to get you. We all know that bitch is a convicted felon, she fights dirty and knows no bounds.

  6. Pingback: Recipe 50: Double-Chocolate Brownies « Nate Makes Cookies

  7. Pingback: Recipe 70: Chocolate Chip Brownies | Nate Makes Cookies

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