Chocolate Chip Cookies. A f’ing legend. You may recall that I’m afraid of them. I’ve screwed up a lot of batches of chocochip cooks in my day. I figure I’m ready, though. These look delicious and will be fine.
Cross your fingers for me.
Step 3: Beat together butter and both sugars until light and fluffy.
A lot of people have told me that you’re supposed to melt the butter for chocolate chip cookies. Martha just told me to use softened butter. She’s the queen, so you can all shut up.
Look how much dough that is. I guess that’s how you get a big, thick cookie.
What the hell happened?! These do not look like the picture! That color! Those wrinkles! The horror!
I decided to investigate. What is going on in the oven?
They’re melting and then slowly flattening. Uh…
I am so smart. I came up with a solution. Before we get to that, I just ran out of parchment so I can finally open up the Martha Wrap that my friend Breanna got me as a gift.
Martha Wrap is one side parchment and one side foil “for roasting, baking, and steaming.” Cool! And the genius woman didn’t forget her brand. It’s stamped all over the foil. I love it.
What’s going on? 30 seconds after I put this in, the damn Martha Wrap curled over the corners! Mom! This baking time sucks!
Oh, but look, I was right. These look way better.
And…ding! They’re ready!
I got: 19
Start time: 8:45
End time: 9:40 (55 mins)
Martha’s estimated time: 1 hour
What did I learn?
- Chocolate chip cookies are still my nemesis.
- Martha Wrap is probably better for wrapping/grilling than it is baking.
What do I need to learn?
- Everything! Why did they melt/wrinkle?
- Why did the chocolate chips stay in the center?
- How do I make them look like hers?
Clearly, nobody would buy these from a bake sale. They’d run away. Luckily, they’re only 50% crap. They taste really good. I’m going to sit in the dark so I don’t have to look at them while I eat every last one. Please mourn with me.
Okay, maybe I can market them as cool giant eyeballs. What do you think?