Finally! A recipe I don’t have to pretend to drop alcohol into!

This one is for all you lushes out there who love margaritas.

The glaze has tequila. Uncooked, full booze level tequila. 

Step 1: Gather ingredients: flour, butter, sugar, orange extract, salt, lime zest, egg, sage.

I can see how the orange extract is citrusy and lends that flavor, but sage? Why?

Step 2: Combine flour and salt (not pictured). 

Step 3: Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy.

Oh, Kitchenaid, I’ve missed you.

Step 4: Add extract, zest, sage, and egg. 

I’m still confused about this whole sage thing. Can I get a margarita, blended, but with some sage? Great, thanks man! 

Step 5: Gradually add flour mixture until combined.

Step 6: Divide dough in half, roll into 9-inch logs, refrigerate for an hour up to overnight. 

I didn’t get a picture of this because the dough was really sticky and I didn’t want to touch my iPhone. This is where I could have used an assistant. 😦 FML FML FML.

Step 7: Roll log in sugar/salt mixture. Cut log into 1/4-inch pieces. 

Oh, here’s a picture of my funk log. Have I ever mentioned I HATE LOG COOKIES? That thing was deformed even after I rerolled it. Stupid.

What happened next? Oh the usual. I got really angry while holding a knife.

See how the log flattens so nicely at the bottom as I cut? WHAT THE HELL, LOG? I have tried all of Martha’s tips: rotate the log as you cut, use a serrated knife…nothing works.

At this point I wish I’d been drinking the tequila because I’d probably think this was all funny. It wasn’t.

I threw one of the deformed cookie dough pieces into the sink and it just bounced back up on the counter! I couldn’t get rid of this shit.

Step 8: Bake for 12-14 mins. 

OMG I am going to hurt somebody. They melted! Fuuuuuuuu

I immediately threw the remaining log and sliced cookies into the freezer in hopes I could prevent this from happening again.

While the next batch was baking, I decided to try the “rim” sugar/salt combo.

Salt! Like a punch in the face!

Ugh. Still ugly, but a little better.

Step 9: Make glaze: powdered sugar, water, tequila. 

This tequila has been around for years. Is it crap? I don’t know. Don’t judge me.

Step 10: Glaze.

I put some in a Ziploc bag and cut the tip off, but I had no free hands to photograph. I also used the wooden spoon for some, but it didn’t work as well.

Yeah, it blobbed more than anything when I used the spoon.

Step 11: Is there any more tequila?

Link to original recipe

Yields: 60
I got: 51.5 (I don’t even…)

Start time: 9:35
End time: 12:20 (2 hours, 45 mins)
Martha’s estimated time: 1 hour, 15 mins

What did I learn? 

• Logs don’t get easier. 😦
• Tequila and sugar make a damn good glaze.
• I probably need to refrigerate the logs longer.
• The sugar cooked probably because I used granulated sugar instead of sanding sugar. (I was out, sorry.)

What do I need to learn?

• Why sage?
• Why only 1 tbsp tequila? I want more.

I’m sorry it’s been a while since I made cooks. I had no hot water in my kitchen for a while and I didn’t want to wash dishes in cold. That, in combination with a 1 tbsp of laziness, is why. I won’t let you down again.

Congrats to my friend Megan who was recently promoted. Now I don’t have to buy you a drink! You can just eat one.