When I hear “cranberry coins” I always think of the can of jellied cranberry sauce that Dustin and I remove from the can (whole) and slice it into coins. This recipe was perfect for Thanksgiving!

This looked simple. Flour, powdered sugar, butter, vanilla, salt, dried cranberries. That’s a short list!

Step 1: Gather ingredients

Step 2: Sift powdered sugar to be mixed with butter

My mom went to IKEA and got me a sifter! Thanks for the gift, Mom!

Sift once…twice…um, it jammed.

It won’t unjam? WTF? I just dumped the rest in the bowl.

Step 3: Beat butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla with a wooden spoon

Wait, what? A WOODEN SPOON? No mixer? I’m so lost.

OMG this really hurt my arm. I have no muscle strength. I swear the Kitchenaid mixer was whispering to me.

“Nate, I’m over here. I’m ready to go. Bring your stuff over here.”

Ugh, done. I’m tired.

Step 4: Add flour and salt

I almost cried. 2 cups of flour mixed in by hand? I wanted to take a break.

“Nate, I mix flour really well. That’s why I’m $300”

“Nate, my 5-quart bowl was designed to make your life easier.”

Believe me, I was tempted. But I said “WWMD?” Martha wouldn’t tell me to use a damn wooden spoon if she didn’t mean it.

Step 5: Chop cranberries

I don’t know if you’ve ever chopped dried fruit, but it was like sticking a knife in goo that just stuck to the sides.

10 minutes later, I completed chopping 1/2 cup of cranberries.

Step 6: Mix in the cranberries

Nicely chopped, yeah?

Step 7: Divide dough into quarters

Step 8: On parchment, shape each portion into a log about 1 1/2 inches in diameter and 4 inches long.
Wrap tightly in parchment. 

Great, more logs. This recipe, unlike the McCormick one from last time, came with a video showing me how to do this nicely.
The video also says to wrap them with an empty paper towel roll to keep the shape. All I had were empty toilet paper rolls. I grabbed one, but decided against it. Didn’t think that would be sanitary.

Step 9: After chilling for 30 minutes, cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds

The video said to use a serrated knife to cut through the fruit. For the most part, it worked nicely and didn’t flatten. The recipe itself said to rotate the log while cutting to avoid flattening. That didn’t work as well. I need to sharpen my knives.

I chilled them for an hour because the last recipe I made was not cold enough and I didn’t want to repeat that.

Step 10: Bake for 20-22 minutes

They look pretty good! They taste pretty good, too!

Step 11: Make a “hot shit” face

Link to original recipe

Start time: 11:13
End time: 1:10 (1 hour, 57 minutes) Remember I added 30 minutes of chill time.
Martha’s estimated time: 1 hour

Yields: 48
I got: 46

What did I learn?

• The dough warms back up quickly. Next time I’ll just pull one at a time from the fridge before cutting.
• I really, really appreciate the Kitchenaid mixer.
• My oven takes 2-4 minutes less than the recipe suggests.
• Chopping cranberries would be a good task for an assistant.

What do I need to learn?

• What the hell happened to my sifter?
• I still need to perfect the log slicing.

Happy Thanksgiving! I will enjoy my tofu and I hope you do, too!